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Album Review: Britn3y by Britney

Noise rock trio Britney release their new album Britn3y on 11th March via Superstar Destroyer Records. Formed of a desire to “something obnoxious and noisy” and because according to bassist Robbie Smith, “it’s always been a dream of mine to have a disgusting band called BRITNEY”, they’re a band that take the noise rock template and carve it up with a slab of math rock.

Uniquely there’s no guitars (although it sounds like it) Smith explains, “I use two chains of effects into two amps which more or less gives the impression of a bass and a guitar at the same time. It’s also given us a pretty unique sound; while the bass does sound huge and like several instruments at once, it lends itself more to single-note riffy stuff than big chords and multiple parts. That’s where the vocals come in. Stewart uses a lot of effects and makes a lot of deliberate rhythmic choices that make the vocals fill the role of what a guitar might do just as much as the bass does. There are times when you can’t quite tell who is making which noise, which is how we like it.”

That’s all by the by if not any good though. The overarching sense is that they’re trying too hard to be obnoxious. It isn’t offensive, it isn’t disgusting and it’s not much more than distinctly average. There’s a chance that it’ll appeal to teenagers trying to offend their parents, beyond that there’s not much scope for appeal.

There’s moments when Britney sound close to Blacklisters and border on making something that sounds kind of accessible. Opener ‘Fully Ben’ feels like the most fully formed track and even with the opening 25 seconds of groaning taken away it’s only one of two tracks that comes in over 2 minutes long. Here the band touches at a sound similar to Blacklisters and you think that Britn3y could be something decent.

Unfortunately it’s all downhill from there. Apart from 15 seconds worth of good riffage in ‘Sneezefic’ and an enjoyable breakdown in ‘Neon Python’ the next four tracks blur into one. ‘Sleep Now Dogman’ perfectly summarizes what is wrong with Britney – it’s nothing more than a shallow attempt to disgust, the feedback of the first half is unremarkable while the soundtrack of the band being sick is akin to something a couple of 13 year olds would do. ‘Boss Moggy’ is a surprising highlight with its churning riffs and visceral vocal. It’s only a highlight due to the pointlessness of the preceding two and subsequent two tracks. Instantly forgettable. Album closer ‘3DPD’ alludes to the band’s epic track instead coming in messy with little to no structure.

Failing in most of what it sets out to achieve Britn3y needs to be heard to be believed. There’s no other reason to give this your time of day.

AD Rating 4.5/10

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